bus driver transporting dr. phil fans fails glorious suicide mission miserably- blames Dr. Phil's head for premature collision

http://www.knbc.com/news/14781779/detail.html

A bus transporting Dr. Phil fans to a taping in LA crashed into the Hollywood Presbyterian Church when the afternoon sunlight struck Dr. Phil's bare scalp at an optically perfect angle. A tree and a fence were pronounced dead the scene.

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alternative beverage poll

as you may have already noticed, I have updated the poll to determine the most popular offshoot beverage starting with the ever-foul tasting, blue urine providing -
Pepsi Blue

Mountain Dew Pitch Black

Crystal Pepsi

Holiday Spice Pepsi

Sprite Remix

Orbitz (all flavors)

Coke Blak

Diet Pepsi Jazz (all Flavors)

Dr. Pepper Fusion


You may have noticed, I have excluded several not-so obscure beverages such as pepsi summer mix, vanilla coke, coke with lime, pepsi twist, wild cherry pepsi, cherry coke, mountain dew baja blast, mountain dew livewire, mountain dew code red, mountain dew game fuel, and the ever-frightening/soon to be "mdx", mountain dew x


If you feel I have left out any awesome alternative beverages, feel free to leave a much deserved "shout-out". Stay tuned for next weeks "offshoot snack poll", which is sure to provide countless flashbacks of toilet-top shudder and sweats..

making publicly known my funeral plans

9:16 AM me: http://www.michaeljnelson.com/home/speaking.aspx

i want him to speak at my funeral
especially considering he's never met me
jason.dictos: hahahaa
me: dane cook will be my backup plan- led promptly onto an alter and to be sacrificed for failure to please the comic gods. behind him my coffin door flies open, my body dancing detestably, head spinning. thanks to high-tech servo implants, i'm able to personally carry out the sacrifice from the afterlife thus avoiding murder charges...