making publicly known my funeral plans

9:16 AM me: http://www.michaeljnelson.com/home/speaking.aspx

i want him to speak at my funeral
especially considering he's never met me
jason.dictos: hahahaa
me: dane cook will be my backup plan- led promptly onto an alter and to be sacrificed for failure to please the comic gods. behind him my coffin door flies open, my body dancing detestably, head spinning. thanks to high-tech servo implants, i'm able to personally carry out the sacrifice from the afterlife thus avoiding murder charges...